12_stories - Prompt: Truth - The Avengers (Loki) - Distorted Reflections

[hiddleasaurus.livejournal.com]

Title: Distorted Reflections
Author: halfmyheart/mariusgirl
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: None
Fandom: The Avengers
Prompt: 06 Truth
Word Count: 1,818
Summary: Loki was a problem that he could not fix, but that did not mean that Thor was willing to give up on him. Thor knew all too well the value of a second chance.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of Paramount Pictures and Marvel Studios. This form of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Author's Notes: I might be in the minority, but I have never thought Loki was truly evil, at least not all the way through. He was definitely misguided, hungry to prove himself of equal worth and value, but not beyond redemption despite all the horrible things he had done.
Feedback: Constructive criticism is always welcomed. Please read and review.
Status: Complete. Oneshot.

Loki struggled not to look too grim, or too guilty, as Thor strode purposefully into the room with a dangerous smirk, holding a small square object in his large hands. Loki immediately let the chains binding his wrists fall back to their normal position and pretended like he had not being trying to use his magic to find a way to unlock them. Thor, completely immersed in the small boxy object and oblivious to Loki actions, did not notice Loki's hasty change in demeanor, or the fire of hatred burning in his eyes at being interrupted and nearly discovered hard at work on his latest scheme.

Damn him. Damn him. Damn him.

Loki knew from the smile on his brother's face that he was in trouble; he just didn't know what sort of trouble it was yet. Nothing good ever came from that particular smirk.

"Behold, brother, the metal man, Son of Stark, gave me this piece of Midgardian technology that once belonged to his good friend, I believe he called her Pepper. Such a strange name." Thor shook his head. "This object is called a camera and he told me that it captures images and moments of time and stores them forever to be viewed at ones leisure at a later date." Thor held up the boxy metal object with flourish. "The Son of Stark also said that this camera can capture ones likeness better than a painter ever could. Is that not spectacular?"

Loki glared at Thor and the proffered object. Had he the use of his mouth, he would have told him just how spectacular it was and where he could shove spectacular, but Loki could only narrow his eyes at him and grunt his displeasure through the muzzle Thor had foisted upon him earlier that day. Under different circumstances, Loki might have been curious – he might even have found such a contraption intriguing – but being a prisoner put an understandable damper on his emotions. Happiness, curiosity, world domination – the muzzle sucked the fun out of everything.

Loki resisted the childish urge to roll his eyes. Truthfully, he wished that Thor would leave him in peace and stop trying to pretend that everything was going to be alright now that he was under his thumb and they were soon to return to Asgard.

He wanted Thor to acknowledge that he had changed – fundamentally and irrevocably – and that he was a problem that Thor could not fix. It vexed Loki that Thor refused to believe that he was too far gone to be saved. Thor saw goodness in Loki where Loki could not and that, more than anything else, chafed. Thor knew well the value of a second chance and it made Loki hate his brother even more than he already did.

"Come now, brother," said Thor, frowning at the assortment of buttons on the back of the imaging device, "let us see how well this thing works. Shall we?" He held the camera up again, pointing it in Loki's direction with an expectant air.

Loki groaned and looked away, suddenly finding the cracks in the floor tiles at his feet utterly fascinating.

His eye twitched at Thor's gentle prod. "Come on Loki, don't look so despondent. These captured images are supposed to be of joyous celebrations and momentous occasions. This is certainly both."

Loki nearly choked on his scoff. He wasn't sure exactly what he was supposed to be celebrating: the muzzle, the chains, the prospect of facing the Allfather again, the cage that awaited him on Asgard…

"Midgard is safe, brother, and we are going home soon. Let this be a memento of our glorious moment of change, the beginning of a new life, the turning over of a new leaf as Jane would say."

Oh, yes, that was what they were celebrating: his downfall and subsequent humiliation at the hands of the bespangled Avengers, and his return to his homeworld as a disgraced prisoner of war. Oh, joy.

"Loki," Thor complained, "you mood is far too black to be captured. Perhaps if you were to smile, or, umm, to think happy thoughts, perhaps that would help."

Happy thoughts, like the gilded cage that awaited him on Asgard, yes, Loki could barely contain his enthusiasm at the mere thought of it. He glared up at his brother once more, scowled like he had never scowled before, and he heard the shutter click on the small device. He watched as Thor scrutinized the tiny screen, inspecting his handiwork with the Midgardian machine. Finally, he strode over to where Loki was standing with his back flat against the wall.

"It's not so bad," he said, turning the device around so that Loki could see the image on the screen for himself.

Loki growled his disagreement. Thor was dead wrong. It was bad, oh-so-very bad. It was a distorted reflection of self; a man he hardly recognized anymore. Still, the image had captured his likeness perfectly: gagged and chained. Scars and all, there he stood, looking petulant and uncomfortable, his eyes dark and hollow. Yes, he looked absolutely thrilled to be a prisoner. There was something about the murderous gleam in his eyes that gave the image its snap and its striking allure. It had truly captured everything, right down to his dislike of Thor and Loki decided that it was acceptable after all. In fact, he rather liked it.

His face betrayed him as his lips tipped upward into a slight smile as best they could behind the muzzle and his eyes crinkled with maniacal glee around the corners. Thor noticed the sudden change in his demeanor this time and his grin widened. He clapped Loki on the shoulder in a brotherly manner, a speck of hope shining through that things were not beyond repair between them, and Loki felt his momentary happiness falter. This was not at all how things were supposed to be.

He was supposed to hate Thor but he found that somewhere deep down inside, in a small box that he had tried to hide away and forget about, there was still some sort of affection for his older brother. There was still a part of the little boy he had once been who wanted nothing more than to be accepted as his brother's equal, to make his father proud, and to be a good son to his mother. That same little boy wanted nothing more than for his brother to lead him home and show him the way out of the cold darkness that consumed him and back into the warm light.

But there was another part of him, the part that was screaming at the top of its voice, that things could never be as they once were. There was far too much blood on his hands, far too many innocent deaths on his conscience, far too much destruction and damnation staining his tattered soul to ever be more that what he had become. Such black and desolate knowledge weighed on him, sitting on his shoulders like a boulder on a blade of grass until he thought he would crack and crumbled under the weight of his own despair.

Somehow, though, Thor saw beyond it all. Loki loved and hated his brother, much as he loved and hated himself, but until he could find some semblance of peace within his own heart, Loki knew he had no chance at redemption despite Thor's best efforts.

"Come, brother," said Thor quietly, his voice light and friendly as he slipped the camera into a hidden pocket for safekeeping, no doubt it would be filled with pictures of that mortal women that he was so enamored with soon enough, "we are all of us going to eat something called Shawarma and there is talk of cake. Then, you and I are going home."

Home. Loki wondered if he had a home anymore, if he belonged anywhere beyond the void. He was neither an Asgard nor a Jotun, neither a son nor a brother. He did not truly belong any where and that knowledge gnawed at his soul like a raging wildfire consumed a forest. It raged and burned until he could not think straight and all the hatred that had festered beneath the surface, all of the anger and betrayal that had ripped his soul asunder, all of it concentrated toward his brother and the Allfather, it all bubbled over and the dam of emotions he had been suppressing for so long burst, and his fingers itched to close around their necks until the light of life fled their eyes never to return.

"Brother," said Thor quietly, pulling Loki out of his blood soaked reverie. He grasped Loki's elbow gently and led him toward the door, "I am truly glad to have you back."

Damn him, thought Loki vituperatively, damn him and all his damn sentiment.

But, try as he might, Loki could not quite quell the surge of glee in his heart that the little boy inside of him felt at the prospect, no matter how distant and remote, of being accepted back into the fold of family, and back into his older brother's heart.

Comments

[pimprevster.livejournal.com]

Aww. ^^ I like the ending. I love Thor's dialogue; you had that down perfectly. xD and the whole idea of the camera is just clever and adorable. The only negative thing I noticed was how often you said their names, especially in the beginning. I know how hard it can be not to do that when you're writing about two people of the same gender, but it's something to think about. :]

[hiddleasaurus.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the lovely comment.

[kilanepiny.livejournal.com]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMzgVshG6CI